I feel so sorry for you. I have two daughters, one is 21 and one is 16. Their father was an alcoholic and I can relate your experiences to what Ive seen them go through. Unfortunately alcoholism is progressive and its so heartbreaking to see someone you love so much deteriorate before your eyes. I wish I had taken the advice to go to Alanon many years ago. Please try to give it another go. I cant comment from firsthand experience but it wou,d have helped me and my daughters to talk to others who are in a similar situation. Even if you decide not to go back, this is a wonderful place to offload. My thoughts are with you.