LTD,
I hit bottom last year. My "bottom" wasn't as low and most get though. You see, I had been taking pain meds for several serious orthopedic issues. I won't go in tot he laundry list of them all but I can assure you "I got problems".
After taking these meds for a couple of years I knew I was dependent on them and then later realized I was addicted to them. Of course I wasn't doing physical therapy and doing all the other things I should have... Instead I just took a pill and life went on. Then last year I realized I needed to get off these damned pills and see if the pain was still really there. Well, I took myself off without the doctors help and then ended up going to the ER 3 days later because I was going Mad from the W/D and sleep deprivation. Before I went to the ER, I told my wife why I was feeling so horrible and that I was dependent on these meds. Now, she knew I took pain meds for my condition but she had no idea the to the extent of which. I was taking 80mg of Oxymorphone and day! That's enough to take down a friggin horse!
My wife's reaction was mixed. Her first reaction was a little sympathy but her next was somewhat of disgust. I instantly knew the disgust look in her face. She didn't have to say another word!
I was damned determined though to do this and despite my fighting it tooth and nail, the W/D kicked my ass senseless!
Going to the ER was a disaster!!!!!! They treated me as if I was a street junkie!
Anyway- another story for another day!
The next day my Pain mgm Doctors office called me... A week later mind you, and I explained EVERYTHING to my Docotr. Of course he was SERIOUSLY pissed off that his staff never informed him that I called the week before about getting off... OK, Another story...
Anyway, we had a long talk about things and he wrote me scripts for the sleep and anxiety issues. After about 10 days of being off the pain meds, I finally felt somewhat normal and didn't have the anxiety I had the previous days. By week 4 I was sleeping somewhat normal WITHOUT sleep meds. By week 6 I was doing ok but in a lot of pain. I went back to my pain mgm doctor and while I did go back on pain meds.... They were no where near what I was taking.
Now, that whole thing started Jan before last. This Jan I did the same thing all over again but stopped my meds all together. I did things way different this time though. I changed my diet, lost some weight, and forced *FORCED* myself to go to the gym every day! Well, after 6 weeks of the gym, my pain got worse. I lost weight and got a lot of muscle tone back but the pain was still there. So - plan "B". I stopped killing myself at the gym and started bicycling every day.
I have LOTS of good and GREAT days but if I over do it, yes I have to take something for pain. I have a whole bottle of pain meds in the medicine cabinet and I haven't touched one in over 10 days. THe meds are no hidden, they are in plain site of my wife FOR A REASON!
I love my wife more than anything on this earth and I NEVER want to disappoint her ever again. I love and respect her so much, I do the "hard" thing by living better instead of just popping a pill.
The point of my story is that my love and respect for my wife trumps everything else. I would die for her and damn near felt like it when I quit the first time.
Look, I'm going to give you some pointers here to help you out to know if he's using or not.
Mood swings - Going from really irritated to elated... He's using.
Stays up late but sleeps way in - probably using.
Weird energy levels - Like wakes up feeling like crap but then all of a sudden he's ready to go...He's using.
Sit's there watching TV with a blank stare... probably using!
Watch his finances
Watch his mood
Most of all, watch out for YOU!
P.S. Going to a doctor and asking for help does two things... One -Makes him admit he has a problem! Two - allows him to get medical help that will get him through the initial W/D phase which can be a living hell. A doctor's help will dramatically increase his odds of getting through.