Originally Posted by
Learningtodeal 
Thanks for your honesty. I need to hear this. I've been supportive (aka enabling) for quite a while now. I've just started with my own Naranon meetings so I'm in a better place now than I've ever been and I fight off the urge to be optimistic. I don't like to demonize him because I realize this is a tremendous struggle on his part, but I also know that I'm not doing anyone (including him, but mostly my daughter) any favors by sticking around. So, I'm ready to walk if this doesn't work. Thanks again.
Glad to hear you are working on yourself. It sounds like you are not enabling him anymore and that is very important. I am not trying to scare you and there are success stories, but it is probably going to get harder before it gets easier.
My wife finally started setting boundaries and no you can't force a person to quit, but you can quit enabling them. Dealing with an addict is difficult. Looking the other way is bad, but so is riding them or belittling them and making false threats.
If we didn't have 3 kids and my wife kept reminding herself for better or for worse she probably would have left. She did finally say to me that I can't live in the house or be around the kids if I am using. Now she had said that in the past, but this time she meant it and stood her ground. Sure I could have fought her on it, but I knew she was right. I found myself living out of a hotel and yes for the first few days there was a small feeling of freedom, but the guilt and remorse was eating me alive.
I went into an outpatient program. This after being in 2 outpatients, 1 inpatient, 6 detoxes, a half-way house, and who knows how many hundred AA/NA meetings already. Something was different though. I made up my mind I was not going to live like that anymore. I wanted a better life for myself. My integrity was zero and I hated myself. I was the father of 3 small children and a junky who blew 30K of their college money and another 250K plus in home equity / credit cards / you name it on H and pills.
I opened up more. Found a therapist who really understood what I was going through. Started loving my job again (which I swore I hated) and truly loved spending time with my wife and kids. I always used to be pre-occupied when I was with them. I was there physically, but mentally I was trapped in my head. Thinking about my next high or how much I had left or when I could get more or where was the money going to come from. It was like hell on earth. I couldn't even enjoy the stuff anymore because I had so much guilt plus I had the tolerance of an elephant. Felt like I was being crushed.
Anyway sorry to go off on a tangent. Just brings back some memories - so glad those days are over. I can go back there at any time, but today I choose not to.
First things first. Take care of you. Take care of your daughter. Kids need consistency/security and not having a dad around stinks, but having an addict dad around with all that brings with it is much worse. Good Luck!!!