I'm glad you're back....But I have to ask you....All I see in your post is what alcohol is doing to you....What are you doing...About alcohol? Are you working any kind of recovery program?...Something to give you the tools you need to make it stick? I know that feeling of not being able to find that buzz anymore and getting more depressed and anxious with every drink....That's not a good place to be...I had to do something to get out of that....I'd recommend you find something too.