Patrisha-
I can empathize. I am an alcoholic seeking help and my boyfriend (we drank/drugged together on and off for 19 years) will not. Although he is clean of drugs, he still drinks, sometimes to excess. I wish he would just go to AA or NA and get completely clean, but I can't make him. For now, I am just happy that we have a good relationship overall and I am praying he will change his mind at some point.
He is not happy about me going to meetings because he says that he knows the people there will tell me to leave him. But, he is trying to swallow that because he knows that my recovery has to be the most important thing.
I really hope your situation improves!!