I just left my AH, it's been so hard. I am commuting 2.5 hours to work 2 times a week until I can find some sort of work in the small town I have moved to (with my mom). I have daily contact with my AH, so he will be very shocked when he gets served with divorce papers and an exparte deeming me sole custody of our son (until further notice). Of course he is telling me that this time is different. Even his arms are healing, an that he is done with the drugs. Well I have heard all this to many times, and he won't consider NA or rehab. Anyhow point being- we can do this, we are all strong. I haven't read books or been to meetings (which I'm sure would help). But prayer goes a long way. I have also made a point to stop every time I start thinking with my heart, and let my brain take the lead this time. Maybe that will help you ladies. But you are not alone.