Anon12

Ok, so I have split with ABF and asked him to move out. He has supposedly found somewhere and the move date should be 2nd June.

But finding it very difficult this last week or so and dreading next week. I am trying to keep busy - out tomorrow night, Fri night, away for weekend (when he should be packing up all his stuff) and I have a friend's I can go to next week if I need to as she is away and giving me set of keys.

Anyway, the problem is I feel like I've made the decision, but I'm in this limbo. I still have all the rubbish but none of the benefits of being free of it. I want to be reasonable as he has a busy job like mine and he took time off to sort a flat and appears to have got it. He hasn't anyway to go before the flat is ready and his parents won't put him up (boring history but they're beyond detached and i'm not convinced it's to do with the drinking, they're just rude). He is also really broke (not my fault either) but I have bought some food I've let him eat. I know, I know. But it's what I feel I want to do. Also, I keep buying stuff and getting home and realising it's stuff he likes, not me!!

I just need some tips on how to deal with the next week and a bit. I am still very much emotionally involved, as is he. He knows I'm upset, sometimes he is visibly upset. I am trying to approach this as if he is a flatmate so I'm considerate but distant. If we are at the flat at the same time, we eat together but it's polite chat, usually me asking when the flat will be ready and if any update.

Last night he went out to get some food and was gone a long time and all the old feelings came back - what if he's drinking, blah blah blah and I used it as a reminder of what this is the right decision. No more worrying about whether he's drunk or not. But I couldn't leave it there and ending up calling him to 'check he was ok'. Normally when drunk he'd ignore the phone but he picked up and said he was fine, he was out walking and thinking and sorry he'd worried me. He seemed like he hadn't drunk and when he got back he was his usual self, if a little down.

I was so annoyed at myself for calling him - I even apologised for it and said i shouldn't be calling! how do I detach in this last couple of weeks? Am I mental for having dinner with him? I don't want to lead him on but equally I don't want to be off with him which I'm worried is giving him hope that this is temporary... I keep thinking when he moves out, I can make it clear then what I feel, what contact I want (or don't more to the point) - guess I would like to break up with an alcoholic in an amicable way, if he is being reasonable too. Is that possible??!!