Originally Posted by
LaTeeDa 
So, you are giving up a happy NOW, for a possibly happy FUTURE? That's what I did for two decades. The happy future never came and the years of unhappiness just kept piling up.
What I've learned is the future does not exist. Only the present is real and what I do now is what matters. Tomorrow and the next day will come no matter how I spend today. Spending it miserable does not make tomorrow any better. In fact, it usually means tomorrow will be miserable, too.
Life is far too short to waste one single precious minute waiting for someone else to change. He is who he is. The only question for you is, is he who you want to be married to? Not the possible, future, new-and-improved version--but the man you are married to right now, warts and all. Because if you are only interested in being married to who he could be, you are deluding yourself.
L
In all honestly the answer is YES. Sad to admit it. He has said that he wants me to be happy. He knows I don't want to listen to him or talk with him anymore and says that I don't want to hear what he has to say. Most of that is because he's never positive and most of his conversations revolve around the government, how other people are infringing on his rights, how his company is screwing him once again, etc.
He pretty much told me that the world has beaten him down and that he has nothing to look forward to. He's been like this for years and I always thought, "Wow, retirement's gonna suck with him." Technically, I know the answer but I keep plugging along thinking that he's going to miraculously do a 180. I had thought that the DUI was going to be a turning point for him. All it did was remove the alcohol from the situation, it didn't really wake him up.
What's sad is that he talks so badly about all his good Christian friends, people who have known him for years(some since grade school) and he constantly throws them under the bus. He talks badly about his family, he doesn't really have any good relationships there either. He is more loving towards the dog than towards any other human.
The one thing that really keeps me here is that he doesn't tear me down in front of others. He builds me up and talks highly of me to his work associates and to his tennis friends. I know he has good qualities and when I see them peek through, that's when I get hopeful.