Thanks scrambled. I was suggesting the lie only for the shock value as a snappy retort to someone pressuring me, but have never actually done such a thing and would likely not. I guess I am still feeling sorry for myself and a little exposed. Just divorced from a family of major drinkers where I was consistently the only one not drinking. My ex was drinking a lot when we split, and in fact I even let that feeling get the best of me and tried to return to drinking as a way to connect with my ex (guess how that turned out?!?) I guess when I have been constantly the odd woman out it starts to wear me down and that's where I am at today.....