@ sapling
Yes, I would love to see my life change as well. I am really sick of being sick. Im sick of myself and I am willing and ready to change. I felt a huge relief yesterday when I walked into the AA meeting. I felt like a weight had lifted and I could finally breath. And, there were the faces that i recognized, "Welcome back", they said.
I have been here before though and that is what is scary. There is something that didnt take place with the steps last time. ..... I didn't use them. I went through them with everything that i had and then willingly forgot about them. Why?... I deduce this to the disease and my willingness. Im responsible for this and I am fully aware of the cunning, baffling powerful nature of Alcohol.