Dumping it down the drain was a good sign... when I would try to quit in the past I would ALWAYS finish whatever I had left and then try to go cold turkey. This last time I dumped what I had like you did and swore it off. With some help from others I've managed to stay sober longer than ever. I pray for help and also seek it out from others that have been through this tough addiction. Without help from others I have never been able to succeed. I hope that you can reach out... whether it's AA, church, this site or wherever else you can find solace. Take care!