Hi and welcome CactusJill
I think the important thing here is what
you think of your counsellors advice - & it sounds like you think they overstepped a line.
There are many posters here who live with drinkers - there are also posters who've left relationships where their partner was a drinker.
You'll have to work out which way works best for you.
For me, I'm no counsellor but I'd focus on you and what you're doing - what your bf does or doesn't do is his journey really.
You'll always find support here
D