Is this normal?
So here is my situation. I have six days sober (yay) and I am going to my first AA meeting tomorrow. When I was drinking, I did not drink every night. The intensity of my benders is what scared me. When I drank I got more and more belligerent. Last week I had a relapse that resulted in a big fight with my boyfriend. My bf and I are now ok - we both think I need to get back in the program.
About the boyfriend. I am in a long term relationship with someone I have been friends with/previously dated for 19 years. We recently started dating again, maybe 5-6 months ago. (When I filed for divorce.) He recently moved in. My bf has been clean for 6 years, but he still drinks occasionally. By occasionally I mean 2-3 beers a night, maybe 3 nights a week. When he goes out with friends, which is about every 2 weeks, he might have more.
I am not stating all of this to justify it - just wanted to provide context so you know the situation.
So anyway. My therapist is an addiction counselor. I told him about the fight my boyfriend and I had, and my therapist went off on me. He told me I should dump my bf because he still drinks and kick him out, otherwise I can never be sober. He seemed to blame this all on my bf, which isn't fair. My bf has never, ever pressured me to drink and he has been my strongest supporter for going into recovery.
????
I know this is true for many people in recovery - they can have no alcohol in the house and they don't associate with people who drink. I am not knocking that, I just don't think it is necessary for me. But I had 3 1/2 years before this, while married to a moderate drinker who kept beer in the house. I am not tempted by their beer. I know that sounds weird, but all of my binges were essentially premeditated and I would go out and buy wine or liquor of my own. I relapsed after my ex left and there was no beer in the house, ironically.
I guess I have a few questions. First, is it normal for a therapist to be so prescriptive? He was genuinely mad at me, and I thought that was weird.
Second, what are your thoughts on dating someone who drinks? My bf rarely drinks in excess, and he has cut down since I started recovery. Do I really have to dump someone I love and who has supported me in more ways than I can count just because he drinks on occasion?
I am confused! I mean, I want to do what is right, but this doesn't seem right to me.