I'm learning that it does absolutely no service to those I love if I take care of their needs and ignore my own. I'm just learning this and sometimes I still struggle with living it. If you're feeling guilty, try to think of it this way .. if you continue on in the same old pattern, it is then that you truly let him down .. and, most of all, yourself. You don't do you, your children, or even him any good by continuing on in the same routine. You have to break the cycle.
Don't let his emotional accusatory rantings manipulate you into unjust feelings .... you don't deserve it .. you've nothing to feel guilty about .. guilt is a deadly, self-destructive emotion. Guilt be damned. Yes, it's another of the God given emotions we're blessed with .. yes, blessed ... as we need all of these to learn life's lessons. Break free from the paralysis and grow as the beautiful person you are.