Hi Gina and welcome! You'll find a great deal of support here, and hopefully a solution. Scroll around and visit the various forums, post wherever you like and you'll see it can be done. Your an alcoholic, and nothing more. No self bashing allowed okay? I know how you feel, we've all been there! Start today, and go it one day at a time, and begin to love yourself for who you are and realize, you just a little sick, and worthy to be a part of life. We look forward to seeing you often!