Be proud of yourself that you have boundaries. I am going through same thing and I feel so sad the majority of the time but I know it will pass. My gut too feels sick but I also realize I have to protect my children from any childhood issues or I will repeat the cycle. I am so glad you are able to see the positive things that are happening to you. Your awareness is admirable! You're doing all the right things. Its ok to be sad but there's no magic formula that will bring him successful recovery or you back together. When my AH left me (again) I was so sad because he had 8 months sober and 5 months in active recovery program, doing all the right things, etc...We supported him and attended everything, etc..Unfortunately, we did all those things and he still relapsed. I just never want to feel blindsided like that ever again.