Denial...but maybe not...?
I've never been on here before yesterday and decided to post to get feedback on my situation.
For the last 3-4 months, there were only 2-3 nights when I've gone to bed sober. It started affecting my sleep, I hid it, I turned down plans because of it. Not good. As I do it, I know I shouldn't be, but I've had depression and anxiety for years and this is the first thing that has helped me feel better, even if only temporarily. I recognize that much of this points to alcoholism.
I broke down and told my best friend about it two days ago, and yesterday I did go without alcohol, but with no negative impact that I can see, which makes me wonder if I really am addicted to it. I don't deny that it was a bad pattern, but shouldn't it have been harder to stop or have caused a more severe physical reaction?