Gracey -
I just read your other post too. You have become so overwhelmed with your situation that you don't seem capable of making any decisions. If your kids don't do as you ask them to - punish them. Take something away from them - tv, allowance, etc. Make there be consequences for their actions or lack thereof. You are not responsible for your husband. He is a big boy capable of taking care of himself if he wants to. Trying to put the guilt on you is a load of crap. Don't listen to him. Listen to what your instincts are telling you. Once you make the decision that your well being and that of your kids is more important than taking the constant abuse of your husband, you will find it much easier to make the moves you need to improve all of your lives.
You will know when and if it is time to go but in the meantime, start taking the steps you need to make so that you will be ready.
Hugs, Jo