Spes

You are not the only one who wonders when they became codependent. We all were, or still are, codependent; it's just to what degree we are in our recovery. That's how we are able to help each other.....because we have all been through it in one form or another. No, you aren't the only one and you are not alone. We are here for you and each other.

Yes, most people here will advocate getting away from the alcoholic. As you read all the stickeys and all the stories from others, you will understand why. Some of us have made the choice to stay but it's a hard and difficult life, often filled with dispair under the best of circumstances.

One thing everyone will tell you.....you are not the problem as you wrote in you post. You were never the problem, you are not the problem now, nor will you ever be the problem. Your boyfriend is an adult and made the choice and decision to drink on his own. You did not force him in any which way, shape, or form. Please.....never blame yourself for another person's problems. There is a motto we live by called the 3 C's. Please believe in them.

I didn’t cause it
I don’t control it
And I can’t cure it

We are here for you.