Hi Masz,
I can tell you a few things for sure.
#1. This too shall pass.
#2. You can get through this
#3. One thing at a time; deep breath.
I know how overwhelmed you feel right now. It is a serious situation, and deserves your full attention; nothing to laugh at. That said, it is something that will eventually fade into the past--and in fact, depending on how you deal with it, something that can make you into a better person, a better writer, a wiser individual, then you would otherwise be.
I want you to realize that others have gone and are going through similar situtions, and they are dealing with what comes. You can too.
Job one right now; perhaps take this as a sign to stop drinking.
Then take the actions that are required, one at a time. Don't think about the next step in the process until you take care of the first. One step at a time. Don't become overwhelmed. You are an adult, this is the legel system. Welcome.
I want you to consider something, also, my friend. I want you to remember a scene from history....a scene from the hell that was WW2. You've seen it. Its a picture of an event repeated thousands of times accross the globe....of people lined up in front of a ditch they themselves had been forced to dig, before being murdered. It happend in Asia, it happened in Europe. It has happend elsewhere. Buddy, you can deal with your situation; you are not standing in front of a ditch in Poland during WW2, you know what I mean? Capture that perspective, internalize it. You can and will deal with this.
Hang in there.