Hey soberred~I too am in a volatile relationship and live with the man. When I was drinking I found myself playing into all that hostility. I am starting to gain some control of my reactions...it gets under his skin and he retaliates with painful words intended to break me down, I believe.
It seems I will never be enough for him as he so blatantly speaks. However, yesterday he told me that he thinks I will leave him once I reclaim my success. Lightbulb moment...he is losing control as I gain self control and he feels insecure about this as well he should. He is abusive and not well.
I figure if I can make it through this blip and do it sober...I can do anything. I will survive and so will you. We will blossom and remember where we once were and how far we have come. Just believe and make it so:ghug3