I understand the ruined relationships as well. I can tell you that we tried fixing things so many times I can't even count. We even tried counseling, it wasn't until I faced the hard truth and realized my drinking was causing 99% of the problems. I was ALWAYS late whenever we hung out(had to get a good buzz, then stop at the store for a small bottle to hide in my pockets while we went out). I was ALWAYS irritable, I would snap at her because I felt like she was accusing me of things. I was never emotional with her, the problem was I was in a 3 way relationship. It wasn't until I broke up with the bottle that things started looking up. I'd be lying if I said I have the perfect relationship now, but we are doing a lot better, we hardly ever argue anymore. I realize now just how beautiful of a person she is especially for sticking around through all that BS I put her through.