Awesome cc.. so awesome. "God works how he wants to. Who are we to say we know better."
I am so glad I'm here and that people like you and all the others above are here.
I actually DID cut her off completely. The 2nd time she told me she started using again I broke down and said I cant do this as your BF anymore.
I am here for you as a friend if you may need me but please go away and get help. She did the following day.
While at inpatient (she told me this upon her release) she was under the assumption I was gone for good and she focused solely on herself.
But then a week in--I called. I didn't shower her with I love you or I miss yous. Just asked how she was and told her I believed in her and that I always have (something I'd say daily while she was trying to kick it at home.)
Today, part of me regrets it but part of me doesn't. Eh, ya live and learn.
But I am going to sort of let go again. Well, let go of the reigns, at least.
She has made it clear (day after she was released) that she does not know how to be in a relationship sober yet does not want to lose me but also feels that I deserve much better.
What's so hard is I want to explain (which I do not, so as not to be too intrusive) is that all I want is the best her that she can be.
I don't care if she doesn't have a 6 figure career, a swimsuit figure or a flawless past..
I just would love a shot at being with the clean, healthy her.
Will keep you posted, all.. and thanks again you've made the past 3 days much more clear.