EmmyG, we cannot make decisions for you. We can only share our experience, strength and hope. We can only tell you what we see from what you post. We have no reason to lie to you. It won't affect our lives if you go back to this guy, or agree to counseling (which I believe you both need, but not together). We just see, from our own experiences, what this guy is doing.
You are very vulnerable, but you have done a very, VERY strong thing. You have taken the steps to get away from him physically. The rest is all emotional. He knows you well enough to play on those emotions and cause you to doubt yourself. Many of us have been there. If you are truly done with him, then don't take even one teeny tiny step backward, such as going to counseling together. That will only give him the opportunity to work on your emotions more.
He is a master manipulator and his sights are on you. I pray that you have the strength to deny him any further access to you. The longer you are away from him, the stronger you will become. Reading his texts or emails, taking his phone calls or any other type of communication only allows him to attempt more and more manipulation.
You really owe it to yourself to have a period of peace, totally free of hearing his voice or reading his words. Please give yourself that time. You will find that his voice becomes more and more faint in your ear, and you will become stronger for yourself. I wish every good thing for you, Emmy, but there is nothing good for you that involves this horrible, hateful, abusive person.
