I just got hammered every night, (nightly bingeing?) lots of blackouts, constantly hearing the next day what stupid things i did. When i woke up with my shoes on i always said to myself, "oh this is going to be bad" and it always was. It sounds like your body has more smarts towards alcohol than the actual thinking process your having (no offence please) but if you vomit, then the bod is telling you it's bad. being sober is the best as far as i can tell, but it takes some effort, I really, really liked scotch, the buzz, the euphoria especially and the part where i forgot my problems (the stupid things i did the day before). The main difference with me is i did it every day and knew it would happen the way it did, seems like you don't know what or when to expect it, and revealing intimate details, that would be embarassing too. Seems like everybody wants to keep drinking at first (i did) it reminds me of the move Minority report, where they catch criminals before they commit the crimes, the guy says, "everybody runs" I drank over the course of 42 years and am much happier now sober. Dan