hi, im a recovering addict with a few years sobriety and it took for my family to step back and allow me to hit my own bottom without their support. then and only then was i able to see for myself how badly i needed to seek help for myself and commit to staying sober, all else failed because i simply was not ready to quit, even though i did and said all i could to convince them that i was,. i honestly appreciated them cutting me off and letting me fall.
my addicted husband, on the other hand, had a mom to do those little things that you do or don't do. he did and said WHATEVER he had to do and say to protect his addiction and his safety net. he died an addict.
i have 6 kids so i know what its like to worry about the finances including childcare. social services helped me so much but it took me 21 yrs of the same ole roller coaster ride to see that i had to leave to literally save my own sanity.
i say maybe start putting money away so only you have access to it, come up with a plan for your life, just in case you find you need one, focus on you and let him do the same. i'll keep both of you in my prayers