(((Emmy))) - First of all, unless you or his family want to lock him in a room, there is nothing any of you can do to make him stop drinking. I say this as an RA. I'm also a recovering codependent, have loved ones who are still active.
To me, quacking is telling me what they think I want to hear. Anything to keep me on a string, be their enabler, whatever. It's talking about things that their actions show totally different..."I'm really gonna stop this time", "I'm NEVER going to drink/use again", etc.
Is he going to drink himself to death? He might, he might not. He will go either way, with or without you. I don't mean to sound heartless, but I know that it was only by having my family say "ENOUGH" and allowing me to face the consequences of my addiction that I chose recovery. My XABF? It didn't work for him. I have a little over 5 years in recovery, he's dead. I couldn't make him see what he was doing to himself and I finally detached completely. All he had to do was go to a dr., but using was more important. I know addiction inside and out, from both sides of the fence, but I was powerless to make him quit.
You deserve to move on, you are not responsible for what he does - that's all on him, no matter WHAT he says. We A's are really good at drawing people back in with empty promises, dramatics, talk of suicide, etc. What we want is for someone to keep taking care of us while we continue using/drinking.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy