Hi, Vajra.
Like the others said, those 10 days, and even the relapse, can be valuable if you learn from them. Glad you came right back here!
This beast is a MF. Can't let it get ahead of you or it will always win.
Did you get the book yet? Dig deeper. One of the big concepts is there is no battle between you and the addiction. Yes, it wants you to drink. But it is powerless to make you drink. Try an experiment: dare the beast to make you wiggle your little finger Just a little wiggle. Can it do it? Of course not. It has no actual power, no ability to defeat you. In the end, you are in control. Even the thought "the Beast is strong" is your AV. You do not need to debate it or defeat it—you simply need to be aware of all thoughts that nudge you toward drinking, including fears and doubts about your own abilities, and identify them as AV so you can disown them. When we drink, it's not because the AV won some argument. It's because we accepted the AV's message—"I want a drink"—as our own. It wants a drink. It needs a drink. You don't, ever. And if it couldn't make that finger wiggle, it certainly can't make you drink.
Read. Practice. Do the mental exercises. You can and will succeed, Vajra.
