Well, I am in day 8 and feeling good about it. I am in a weekend getaway by myself where it has been easy to hide away and use. I come up on Thursday while my wife does all the rest of the work and comes up on Friday. Because of my history I have had brief thoughts/memories of my past behavior flash through my head but there is nothing I can do as I have no pills and no idea where I could get something if I felt that damn stupid. In any event I know that it is just the habit talking and no different than the food thoughts I'm having that are tempting me to give up my diet. All just battles to be won. I have been sitting on the deck reading a book and enjoying the fact that I can. I had found that an oxy increased my ability to "feel" the wording of the book and increased the enjoyment. More crap. I was afraid that I would lose the desire to read when I quit but am enjoying it all the same.
I had also worried that I would not be able to relate to or talk to anyone without it as I am not necessarily all that gregarious. Well, these last days I have been an absolute motormouth so there goes that one. In actuality I had become so isolated with the oxy's and living inside my own head that I could hardly even want to talk to anyone.
As to the insomnia, last night was long but the anxiety was less and I had lost a lot of the feeling that I no longer knew how to fall asleep. It's true but it didn't feel so much like it. I did get a few (4-5) hours of sleep and feel that's a real improvement.
If anyone reads this and knows where the link is to start a new thread could you please tell me. I found it once when I stated this and have not been able to find it since. I am really enjoying everything about this site but navigate by stumble.