Thanks so much everyone! I know my back pain was intense, but I really wanted those pills so I could escape EVERYTHING I was feeling. I wanted to be numb.
I made it through it, love to all of you! I'm committed to going opiate-free until my surgery on June 7th! I CAN DO THIS! Also, in thinking ahead, I am going to plan on talking with my primary care doctor after surgery about helping me to lower my dose. I've talked about this with my therapist and she thinks I should let my doc know that I do not NEED 30 pills/month every month and just tell him I have issues with it (which I believe he already knows) and that while I still need it sometimes, I will let him know when I need it. My therapist, btw, would LOVE if I never took another pill, lol. I've told her about all you peeps at SR and while she really would like to see me going to meetings, she says this is a good start
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Thanks again all, hope everyone is having a wonderful week!!