I think a lot of us have short memories when it comes to the consequences of our drinking. That's probably why so many of us have relapsed over and over again. I did the same thing but now I keep a journal. I've written down every rotten, horrible thing I've done/said in that journal so that I could remember what I used to be like. The memory fades, but those words on the paper are there forever and they are very sobering (pun intended). I've not had a desire to drink in some time now, but when I first got sober and would have an inkling that I might like a drink, I just picked up that journal and started reading. It makes me shudder. Maybe that's something you could try?