Yup, been there done that. My ABF got "clean" from heroin by drinking himself into a stupor and also managed to get a script for Ritalin which he snorted as well. His first love was alcohol, then alcohol and coke, then he got off the coke by taking pills which turned to OC then heroin. then came full circle with alcohol and Ritalin. Eventually, though, it was just alcohol which was absolutely the WORST. I'm with you. I couldn't stand it and preferred the opiates! Lol. At least he left me alone for the most part when he wasnt drinking. Actually, it was the constant drinking that pushed me to kick him out. That lasted a couple of months until I took him back like a sucker when he got on the Subutex and I felt like he was making an effort. I had no idea it was even possible to abuse subutex, but boy was I wrong. As far as him trading them, I don't know. I'm sure he's done it, don't get me wrong but I don't think he made it a habit. But, I wouldn't put anything past him at this point.
I'm just now getting my own life together and have finally lost pretty much all hope that he's going to get clean. I'm getting myself healthy for my daughter and putting my ducks in a row for the very real possibility that I'm going to have to leave him to get my daughter away from a situation where I am essentially condoning his behavior, at best. I can't even leave him alone with her anymore because of the fear that he will just decide to pass out and leave her to her roaming the house unattended. I had to take her with me to my first therapy appt tonight because I couldn't trust him to watch her for an hour.
Anyway, every time I talk about him, I feel like I'm back pedaling and going back to focusing on him instead of me. It just feels so good to vent, especially to people who have been down this destructive path. The more times I hear stories of courage like yours, it just fuels me to do what I'm inevitably going to have to do eventually anyway. I hear you on the expense of child are. I don't know how I will afford it on my own, but I guess I will work two jobs if I have to since I don't really have options to move in with someone. Those are all the things I'm weighing in my head these days. My escape route. Lol.
My fear is that he will be able to get partial unsupervised custody of her if I leave him and then she will be worse off than she is now. How does one prove that someone is abusing subutex in order to keep there daughter out of the hands of her father? Ugh. I'm disgusted just writing that. I can't believe this is her life.