Gosh LTD,
Your post really hit home for me. My ABF is a former heroin addict, pill popper, etc etc etc. Basically if it's a drug and it's in front of his face, he will do it.
Now, he is off the drugs and just drinks CONSTANTLY. Almost every moment he is not at work, he is at home DRINKING. He just replaced the drugs with alcohol. I have a feeling it started w/ alcohol and it has ended with alcohol. To be honest, I hate him more when he is a slobbering drunk than when he is all jacked up off opiates. EVERY addiction is really just effed up! I don't do anything, not even smoke cigarettes and I get to spend my time at home where it should be serene with a friggin' drunk.
So, I know what you are going through. I have been there/done that with Suboxone. My ABF just used to *act* like he was taking them and go trade them for heroin. His mom would have me act as the intermediary for dispensary because she bought them and wanted me to *help* with the whole effed up process. I agree w/ Dolly, it doesn't work. They feel *entitled* to the drug. I wouldn't be surprised if he was doing or trading other drugs for the pills for other drugs. Not saying he is, that is just MY experience. When they don't want to go to professionals for help, there IS an underlying reason.
I am beyond the stage where I actually care if he drinks himself to death or gets back on opiates. If he does that, he does. Nothing I can do about it. I am at a phase where I am just MAD AS ALL HE77 that I have been such a doormat to his addiction, and I am not putting up with it longer than I have to. I have a lease that is up in August, and I am not messing around anymore. I am documenting every night he drinks, how much, and taking pictures for proof of the contents of the trash can so I can prove he isn't fit to have half custody of our 2 year old until he gets some help for his addiction. Our son (2), already knows that dad's drink is beer. How freaking wrong is that, and I am terrible if I keep him in the situation. That is what I DO know. I don't know what ABF's intentions are but his actions sure suggest that he is just an addict who wants to be one.
We have to think about our kids, number one priority. As Dolly says, our children will take their childhoods with them into adulthood. I swear, sometimes, I wish the guy would just go out to the bar and hook up with some chic and never.freaking.come.home. Blah.
Sorry to rant on your post, I just feel like I am stuck in a similar situation. The realization has FINALLY set in AGAIN that I need out. I have been stuck here for financial reasons but you know what, I am just going to suck it up and go live with my momma until my son goes to kindergarten and I can afford my own place. (childcare is EXPENSIVE, or I'd be gone GONE GONE already)
Take care, and be strong. Keep posting on here. Don't believe he is changing until you SEE he is. Period.