Thanks everyone for your kind and honest words. Anvilhead, you are so right about the whole "Living life on life's terms". I seem to keep my addictive behaviors in my back pocket and whip them out anytime things don't go the way I think they should. It's almost as if I anticipate crap going wrong so I can give myself a reason to use. Was able to abstain today and not call my doctor to ask for more pills. Still feel like crap, but I'm gonna sit with it.