Don't get me wrong I am not saying I think he is cured or better or that he is not an alcoholic. He IS. But he is able to go days even weeks without a drink especially when he is working a lot. With him boredom is a deadly enemy. He can't stand not having work and it feeds his anxiety disorder to the point that I can literally see him climbing the walls in his mind. When he is working the anxiety is relieved to some extent and the drinking starts to fall by the wayside. I don't know what to call that type of an alcoholic...I've always thought periodic binge drinker, but sometimes it's not a binge, in fact sometimes it really is only one or two. It makes it quite difficult to get a handle on what he is dealing with, and makes it much easier for him to deny it's a problem. Anyone ever know someone like that? I think that some of you are right about him thinking "hes got me" and you are also right about me not being a priority. Maybe I never was whether he was sober or not. What I am learning is that there are some behaviors that were caused by the alcohol and some that were caused by his upbringing or just part of his personality. His parents aren't bad people but they are enablers in every sense of the word. They have never let him clean up his own messes, not EVER and as a result I think he feel entitled and thinks everyone should take care of him. I don't see it as pure selfishness and I can't blame it all on the addiction, it's what he was taught from the day he was born. It's sad really...he never got the chance to fully grow up. I am trying to stay focused on myself, but it is hard sometimes.