Originally Posted by
Impurrfect 
(((Krys)))
It made me feel like I was a "last resort" person. IF they didn't have something better come up, IF they felt like spending time with me, IF, IF, IF, then I would see or hear from them. That's a really icky feeling to have, but it was my "norm" for a long time.
I like this. One thing I've learned over the years that if you have abandonment issues, you do act a certain way. AH lost his dad at 12 (as did I--both from alcoholism--which was a weird bond we had)
I get the feeling (with my dime-store pop psychology) that he KNOWS he has me. He needs SOMEONE who he thinks will never leave him So that's what the relationship is based on. He goes along and does whatever the h*ll he wants to do, BUT when there are red flags he's about to be abandoned: watch out and take cover. He'll do anything to protect himself against his greatest fear.
Because I also have abandonment issues, I'll swim through hell or high water to make sure I keep this thing going.
Great synergy there. They can keep you in the wings, fulfilling the need to have someone to fall back on, and you make them the fulcrum of your life at the expense of your own self.
Not much substance for a true, loving relationship there. I must admit, I've tolerated a lot of ridiculous stuff and the only time he ever made any move to change was when I changed: when I started acting on my own behalf and in my own best interest.