Terminally Unique

You are not the first to ask on here, and I don't mind you asking, Pam, but I'm not going to divulge that. Yes, I could probably impress some newbies by wielding the sober TIME™ club, as so many others do, but with AVRT, there is no pecking order, no old timers, and I really don't want people to look at me that way. If you are certain that you will never drink or use again, then you are as recovered as I am, or as someone else who has abstained for twice as long.

Sober time has no meaning within AVRT, except as uncertainty about whether it will last, as the Beast fixated on its last drink, counting how very, very long it has been deprived. If one is not going to drink any more, then why count time since the last drink? You would just be counting the days of your life. Some may say "but it's so meaningful!" — and it certainly is — to the Beast. Others say they want to celebrate the beginning of their new life, or a victory, much like people celebrate the end of wars.

AVRT, however, necessarily asks just what it is that is being celebrated. What does it say about me as a person if I celebrate the fact that I haven't injured anyone recently? What does it say to those I've hurt if I tell them "let's go out for dinner, cake, and a walk on the beach, to celebrate the fact that I haven't treated you like garbage for a whole year?" AVRT reminds me that I am both the victor as well as the enemy here, and that I bear the guilt of my vanquished enemy.

Does this mean that people who do count time and celebrate the day they finally got their acts together will not stay sober? No, of course not, and one may safely depart from AVRT in this respect without fear of inexplicably exploding into drunkenness. Still, for me, there is nothing to celebrate here, and if anything, a memorial service would be more appropriate than a birthday celebration.

I know this was far more than you asked for, Pam, but these are just some unedited thoughts that come to mind surrounding sober time. YMMV.