Gosh, even more responses. I didn't think I'd get any.
I'm happy to know that someone (or someones) understand me. I'm glad that all of you are also maintaining your sobriety. It makes me think it's possible for me too. Thank you, thank you. I don't want to be drunk anymore. Drinking alone is a very, very dark place to be. I drank to feel less alienated, but after an hour or so, I'd feel like the most lonely person on earth.
Fortunately, my boyfriend seems to innately understand that I have deeper issues, and he has been there for me 100%. Unfortunately, I don't think I'll ever tell him about my alcohol struggles. He thinks of me as model Ph.D. (I've served--and completed--both titles.)