Originally Posted by
jobei 
Hello and welcome! Many people on this site have had very similar experiences to your own... it's a good place to open up... you will definately receive a lot of support!
It sounds like you really want to get back together with your ex bf? You want to be sober so that he will take you back. One thing that I've learned that trying to get sober for other people doesn't work for me... I have to do it for myself. I hope that you decide to do it for yourself and not for someone else. Once you help yourself out automatically others around you will be helped as well.
Coming up with a plan to not drink is really important in my opinion. Posting here is great! You are moving back home... have you told your parents about your problem with alcohol? There are other methods as well... AA, AVRT, RR, church, therapists, Doctors. If you were drinking a bottle of vodka a day I suggest checking in with a doctor and they can definately help you quitting! Take care and I look forward to hearing more from you!
Hi
Thanks for the welcome.
I do want to get sober for myself and a big drive for that not wanting to lose him altogether. He's my best friend and I really feel I need his support. He was so angry this morning that he told me pretty much "good for you, but i'm done and you're doing this alone"...I'm hoping that I can get sober and prove to him that I am worth another chance. I've never been violent outside of drinking, I'm a very passive person mostly and laid back. I'm a whole different person though once I drink. Very Jekyll/Hyde.
My plan is now to move back home, which is about 45 minutes away. I could move to the place I've already paid for, but it would be tough for me to get by. I really feel I'm at the lowest point in my life right now and I think the support of my family around would be good.
I have not told them directly about the problem, but I do suspect they know already. My mom knows these fights happen when we drink, and she knows I've thrown things at him before, but she doesn't know the extent of how violent I have been.
I don't have insurance, so I don't know how I'd get a doctor to help me
I worry about really bad withdrawl symptoms that I have yet to experience.