Lots of great books on controlling people and tips and hints on how to recognize it. Just surf Amazon for a while and you will find many out there. I think I have over my lifetime read at least half. I have the tendency to be controlling and work hard to overcome it. Plus, it helps to recognize when someone is trying to control you, and what to do about it.
PS I think controlling people live in fear, and that sense of control helps them feel less fearful about life.