Originally Posted by
aeo1313 
My kids are 10 and 13 and don't really know anything is wrong with me. I will be going to aa meetings nightly. Do I say anything to them or just "run errands" every night?
I was in 3rd grade, so that's what? 9 yrs old? It was obvious to me something was "wrong" with my dad. I had no idea it was alcoholism but it was obvious he promised stuff all the time and failed to deliver. He was mean. He was self-absorbed. He seemed to care about everyone then, in an instant, didn't care about anyone but himself. etc etc etc....... I was a little kid and it was obvious.
I don't know your history but if you're an alcoholic and your kids are 10 and 13, I'd bet BIG odds they ALREADY know something hasn't been right. They see other parents......they talk to their friends......they're not dummies.
(my little brother and I had it figured out.....I'm sure your kids do too).
Hiding one's recovery seems *to me* like we're saying this: "Hey kids, I made some mistakes and got going in the wrong direction BUT now I'm in this awesome program, I'm working on becoming a better person and a better parent. You see kids, often times good ppl make mistakes but the deal is we try to recognize it and then we work to correct them....... BUT I DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW ANY OF THAT."
A HUGELY important piece of my recovery was finding out the things that bother me aren't limited to JUST me. It's very therapeutic to know that we're NOT alone - that my problems aren't unique to me - that you're just like me. All my life I thought I was just "unlucky" or got the short straw. To know about and watch ppl recover - to watch them work THROUGH difficulties is a faaaabulous gift. I wouldn't want to hide that from anyone important to me.