I work with a guy. He has every reason to get and stay clean and sober. He gets a few weeks up to a few months together then relapses, hard. He must stay clean to keep his career, but every time he gets things on track to re-enter his (well paid) line of work... Bang, he goes back out in a dangerous and catastrophic way. He may finally burn all his bridges and end up on the street.
I work with another guy, not his sponsor, but in a support role... Wears a suit and tie to work, got a couple of years together, got remarried, all that... Ends up in jail last month, super extreme DUI.
Both these guys relapse over and over. The consequences are huge.
I have emmense respect for this illness, malady, insanity... It's not a simple matter of wanting recovery, I honestly believe they want it. Their bottoms are low and hard.
I believe that they are, in fact, constitutionally unable to get honest with themselves, like there is this wall built up around them... They say the right things, go to meetings, therapy, all that... No significant mental issues that I can see... But they never have that light in their eyes you see in someone recovered and speaking from their heart. They talk the talk.
I truly believe that until they can see that life will get better, not how, not what they think, but to just trust that it will... To build on whatever glimmer of hope that flickers and go with whatever life brings... They will not recover.
What are they afraid of?