Same as Least, I thought I'd NEVER get it but kept trying and coming up to two and a half years sober.
I personally found relapse prevention strategies helpful, hope this isn't a plug but I found Terence Gorski's writings useful, there are some excerpts online.
Finally realized also I couldn't do this on my own, got myself a counsellor I could talk to and gain some objectivity when my thinking was going astray.
There's that thing they say - insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results? That's where I was at.