Try something new.
I had a lot of relapses and I would always run to 12-step meetings. But for me, that was the easy, soft way. I wanted someone to tell me how to become whole. It took me a long time to admit that I needed one-on-one help, that I needed encouragement, and that I needed to be able to be completely honest with at least one other person.
For me, I had to walk away from the 12-step model and really commit to therapy. I had to dig deeper and more actively into understanding my behavior. Even my shrink was not sure since he had recovered in a 12-step program, but he saw that for me the program had become counterproductive. He just did not know what else would help me.
Then slowly, things changed. It was like waking up.
Since the approach I was taking to recovery was not working (after many, many, many years), I had to actively try to find my own path. Honesty, service to others, connection to something larger than myself, and rigorous self-examination are the core of my recovery. I had to try something new and find these principles for myself.