Lizatola, I totally hear you about having your "love tank" run dry. I felt that last year when I separated from my AH. I was sooo dry, it was like I could not even feel joy anymore, or if I did, it was fleeting and the feelings of anxiety, worry, anger, betrayal and rage quickly blocked it out. Over time, and in a more sane environment (without him around daily), I felt the love trickling back into my heart. Then I'd have moments of pure joy, and over time they have happened more and more. I still have many dark days/moments, but it's getting better. It will happen for you, too, if you focus on YOU. You can't fix him. You can only fix yourself. Hang in there, we are here for you.