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Old 04-30-2012, 10:14 AM
  # 29 (permalink)  
BlueMoon
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: looking in / looking out
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Originally Posted by roncampb View Post
So you say that I should just keep giving him good advice, but that is basically it? I'm not pushing anything on him. But he knows that I don't like how he drinks a lot. He has asked me before when he's been real drunk if I am upset. He has done this numerous times. I basically just tell him that drinking in moderation is fine. But when you do it in high levels, it is poison. And that it kills our productivity. Like when he came up this weekend, he asked if I drink up here. And, I said that I've probably had 4 beers since I've moved in which is over a month period. I hope the hints are paying off. I really think that he wants to change.

When he came up this weekend, he held himself together fine. Probably had 16 beers over a two day period. Which I guess could be an improvement but still way too much in my opinion.

But to get back to my question. Are you guys saying that doing nothing is better?
Most emphatically : you should NOT keep giving him “good advice.” Saying something more than once or twice IS pushing. It’s nagging. It’s being manipulative and controlling. You are trying to control HIS life.

He KNOWS you care. He KNOWS you don’t like him drinking to excess. Drop it.

What an alcoholic says when drinking means ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Trust me. I’ve lived on one side or the other of that one for 54 years. He does not give a good godd*mn about what YOU or anyone else thinks. “HINTS” are NOT EVER going to pay off. HE KNOWS. He will NOT stop until HE is ready. Period.

Quit nagging . . . and you ARE nagging. It sounds like his parents are dealing with this in a healthier manner.

I AM saying that YOU need to take care of YOU. You need to learn how to Let Go of HIS situation. YOU are the only person YOU have ANY control over. Love him enough to let HIM run HIS life. What he does with it is HIS business. HIS choice. Not yours.

You CANNOT “love somebody well.”

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