thanks dee and bruno.
yes i have aa and a sponsor plus some friends who understand what my situ is .
but when i come home at night and shes not on the phone or with me...it kills me the lonliness i feel is awful...
now i know she has really washed her hands of me and i dont blame her,it's all my fault,and i loathe myself for it she put up with my crap for 14 yrs she must be a saint...
says somwhere in the big book that we alcoholics find the best women in the world...that was certainly true for me,
god i wish i could go back 13 yrs ago knowing what i know now..
but you know what?
we reap what we sow i only have me to blame