Have to break this chain
27 year old male. 1st day back in recovery. Had about a year under my belt when I was 24 but thought I would have it under control. Not true. I'm trying to figure out how it got this bad so quick. It's went from socially having a couple to days long benders that are lately keep going by cocaine. My wife hasn't talked about leaving me yet but I came clean to her last night about everything. I have said many times I would quit and get help but it was all bs before. I've reached the point where I really don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to sound selfish but not for my wife or kids. That's just a added bonus. I have to do this for me. There's not many sober people my age especially where I live. Virginia Beach was coined in a magazine once as a liquor store with a zip code. Its like I have 2 families. My bar family, and my wife and kids. I know the first one of those have to go and I'm going to loose a bunch of friends. But I'm pretty sure they are not real friends anyways. I know it's on day at a time and this is only day 1. I know it'll get harder before it gets better but I'm ready for it. Went to a meeting this morning. Thinking about going this evening. Picked up the white chip and I'm trying not to lose my marbles. Wish me luck please. It's literally death or glory at this point.