I do believe that I can pretty much objectively say that you will not be able to "work things out" as in working them out to be the way they used to be.
One great reminder of recovery is this...to be present and live in the moment!
For me? I realized that if I want to have any sort of relationship with my ex...in any form whatsoever (re: we have many common friends in our life and share rooms of recovery as well) as in civil, caring and compassionate I have to accept EXACTLY where he is at...
all of the promises that we used to make, that he used to charm and woo and romance me with (yowzaa...gorgeous!!!) just aren't really truly possible! They were a dream of a possibility, for the future, and they can not take place in the reality of "dating an active/relapsing/very newly clean addict.
many of the ways that I fell in love had to do with my own deep want and desire for partnership and planning and living together in joy and harmony...
but you would be VERY hard pressed to find anyone still struggling with addiction who can sustain any sort of possibility of those promises. you can call this lying and manipulation...or you can call it believing in a fantasy (two sides of the same coin)
you have to really carefully discern your perspective and clarify what it is YOU want, need, desire, hope for...and then determine what he is really capable of sustaining!!!!!!
I realized that when I step way way way back from the gorgeous intelligent loving man that made the most beautiful promises to me...that he is struggling really hard. without me he is living in a rented room with one bed, roofing out in the cold instead of attaining his masters degree in psyche counseling, he keeps "slipping" and using his resources on his DOC, can't maintain a relationship with his kids (16 & 13) and moves from one sober house to the next...one pick up job to the next...
anyway, looking at the REALITY instead of the dream...
that is one way to "work things out" really look at the REALITY of what you are "signing up for"
many of us would rather continue in denial and delusion rather than face heartache
sometimes our "staying with the person we have discovered love with" is sacrificing the long term whole life benefits for the short term dose of love. seriously, love is super powerful...and sometimes the source is unreliable, tainted, unsustainable and crazy-making. but "cutting ourselves off" from the source is something we don't want to face.
there are always possibilities...and then there are probabilities.
keep getting help on discerning your perspective
keep reaching out for help determining your reality
in the end it is always your choice, your life
choose with care and love for yourself!