Good point....but I don't have a family to destroy. No children, husband, home etc. I'm mid life with nothing to show for all the years I put into getting advanced degrees, working my butt off at work in the corporate world. And putting my whole-heart into relationships too-- 10 years into two long-term relationships that went no-where, and now a home in foreclosure (not my decision!)
I have family but they're not directly impacted and do nothing to assist or intervene. 3/4 of them know I've had drinking issues and done nothing to intervene.
So this is what I keep bumping up against --failure from my perspective. Others would look at my life and see great successes, but not in my books. I often think what is the point if I do have 3-4 drinks a day then? It is not getting worse, and no health issues as yet (knock on wood). It takes the edge off of my life of going nowhere fast! But something needs to change and looking for answers.
How do I establish meaning in my life? Until I do I'm not having anything to strive or live for. Maybe I need to go to a detox/treatment/wellness retreat to get collected? Can anyone recommend any with more of a wellness focus?
Oh and its my birthday today so sorry if I'm a little introspective and sarcastic about things. Yes, now 44 years with nothing to show for all the hard work I've put in! <sighs>
Originally Posted by
raindancer11 
For me, I had to ask: Why am I willing to carelessly let my life and the lives of my family be destroyed by an addiction? One reason was that I didn't believe I had an addiction that could cause such devastation...despite the clear evidence that it does. The other was that I thought the sober life was scary, boring, depressing and lots of other things...despite clear evidence that it wasn't.
When I have these thoughts now, I remember that I have a destructive addiction and life sober with all it's challenges is light years better than moving through the stages of progressive alcoholism. And that is the only path for an alcoholic.